Ninja Lisa

Seeing the joy in my dad's eye when I handed him "the board" was a sickening feeling. As a young child, I lived the cliche. I pretty much assumed all the other kids lived like this as well. What I couldn't grasp, was why they seemed to be happy and carefree, and I felt like a boulder the size of Texas was on my shoulders. A few different things would go through my warped mind at this age. I would say I was about the age of 10 or 11 now, and had lived with dad's abuse constantly. First thought was handing him this board. I saw myself sliding down the banister of the stairway, summer-saulting through the living room, crouching tiger hidden dragon through the dining room, spinning with the board in the air until I made it into the kitchen and whacking him across the face with it until he laid on the ground! At this point I would yell, "wax off, wax on" and stand over him with 'the board" against his throat. For those of you confused by wax off, wax on, it's a reference to the movie Karate Kid. However, as you may have guessed, this was in my magical land and it gave me the courage to bring that wooden weapon to him.
Second thoughts for me at this time were these other kids who seemed so damn happy. How could they be going through what I was and still act the way they did? As if being a kid is not already confusing enough, this really did me in. I would envision these little boys and girls as demons in this world and it was my duty to destroy them all. In my faltered mind, I assumed they deserved their punishments, knowing full well that I was being beat for no damn reason. I saw myself with this magical board zapping each little Cretan with a smile on their face. They would just, POOF, disappear! If they looked miserable like me, they could join my side, the dark side so to speak. This obviously was child's play. There was never going to be MY TEAM. In the real world, these little happy people formed a malicious army, and I was their enemy.