Owned

It was at this point in my life I realized that I was not a "part" of something. I didn't fit into any piece of a familial puzzle, or collage. I was just a being placed on this earth for the entertainment of others. This is when the disconnection between myself and my emotions started. When I think back to this time, it reminds me of an engine's kill switch. My brain's kill switch turned off. I was repeatedly hurt by this man who called himself my father, and yet it all was acceptable to me because my switch of normalcy had been disengaged. I don't really know too much more about living on Aldene except that good old Susie and I had one last good fight. I was roller skating, on the old metal skates at that. For those of you unaware of what I mean, these skates basically looked like a cookie sheet with wheels on them. They clinked and clanked against the concrete like a hammer being smashed against brick. However, I loved skating. Susie and I had words of some sort and she pushed me down, and because of the skates, I went straight down to the ground, face first. I hit my head on the concrete and ended up with a concussion. Honestly, I have no recollection of what occurred after this, and I suppose in the grand scope of things it doesn't really matter. What I know about this is the same as what I knew then about my father. Anyone who wanted to, could hurt me and do as they wished with me without fear of retribution or me fighting back. I was not, or at least did not feel as if I was my own person. Once my father put me against that wall, he OWNED me. I realized by not fighting back with Susie, that I was facing a world that seemed to want to own me as well.